A few weeks ago, I got great feedback on my article Enneagram Type 5 vs Enneagram Type 4. Everyone enjoyed it, and everyone complained that it was too long. So, this week I am breaking up the normally almost 2500 word blog posts into several 300-500 word posts. If you liked the long version, don’t worry I will release it at the end of the week. Since I am breaking up the posts into bite-size bits, you might want to check this one to get a better introduction into the series. Now here is the hurting we inflict on one another.
Type 6: Hurting: The Energy Drain
While the questions that an Enneagram Type 6 are often the best, they can also take it too far. The need for security can be exhausting when you are trying to give security. It’s even worse when the fear gets transferred. Since the Enneagram type 5 and 6 are both in the fear triad the fear gets transferred more easily. That fear getting transferred occurs through an energy drain that all the knowledge of a Type 5 cannot defeat.
The Enneagram Type 6 in stress exhibits Type 3 tendencies. That means extra busy-ness, increased forcefulness, and stubbornness to new approaches. All of which will wear a Type 5 out. Once we are worn out the fear can be transferred and we get either frantic in avoiding the fear like a Type 7 or we fight the fear (and usually the person) like a Type 8. The point is both of us move into combustible energy when we are down and that makes for some explosive encounters. Those encounters all stem from the energy drain that is our fear.
Type 5: Hurting
The worst things Enneagram Type 5’s can do to Type 6’s is to be disloyal. Type 5’s are not generally disloyal, rather because of their walls they are never particularly loyal. This means that we rarely fully invest in relationships. We rarely fully invest in ideas because there can always be new information. Finally, each question can have multiple answers depending on the perspective and situation and desired outcome.
Type 5’s lack of need for security in the information and thinking is distressing to many Type 6’s. But the hurtful piece is when we walk away from relationships. The Type 6 invests in us, but for many Enneagram Type 5’s we struggle to match that investment. The walls we have in our lives keep us from investing because they also keep us from pain. So, we can leave relationships at any point, and may even do so, in immaturity, without even considering the other person. This feeds the worst parts of an Enneagram Type 6 because it confirms their fears and makes it harder for them to find that security and place loyalty with the next person.Type 5’s are not generally disloyal, rather because of their walls they are never particularly loyal. #enneagram Click To Tweet