Table of Contents
Intro to Enneagram Type 9
A few weeks ago, I got great feedback on my article Enneagram Type 5 vs Enneagram Type 4. Everyone enjoyed it, and everyone complained that it was too long. So, this week I am breaking up the normally almost 2500 word blog posts into several 300-500 word posts. If you liked the long version, don’t worry I will release it at the end of the week. Since I am breaking up the posts into bite-size bits, you might want to check this one to get a better introduction into the series. Now here the insidious pain we can cause one another.
My intro article to the Enneagram Type 9 is here.
Type 5: Hurt: Insidious Descent into the Fortress of Solitude
So while it might seem that it is all roses for the Enneagram Type 5 and Type 9, there is an insidious nature to our relationship. We don’t injure in the visible typical ways. We alter each other ever so subtlely that we never notice until its too late. Here is how it happens.
Since Type 9 will avoid conflict at almost all costs, Type 5’s will just do their thing digging deeper and deeper into own little fortress, while putting up ever more bricks of knowledge. Before we know it we are in too deep into our own self that we see no way of getting out except through conflict the one thing Type 9’s avoid. See Type 5’s have that Type 8 side to them when they are healthy. Conflict is actually good for Type 5’s. It forces us to rethink and reuse our accumulated facts and knowledge. Type 9’s rarely if ever provide that challenge.Before we know it we are in too deep into our own self that we see no way of getting out except through conflict the one thing #Enneagram Type 9’s avoid. Click To Tweet
Without the challenge Type 5’s just dig deeper and deeper into their fortresses. Ever notice that mad scientists don’t really seem to have a social life, but always have this conflict-averse helper. That’s the unhealthy side of the Type 5-Type 9 relationship. Type 5’s just descend into self-talk that ends up coming out like madness in the social arenas of life.
While the other Enneagram Types invade us, frustrate us, or force us out of hiding through roughness and rudeness, Type 9’s let us kill our own selves. They let us drown away in the fortress of solitude in a descent into madness.
Type 9: Hurt: Insidious Disregard
It is hard to truly hurt an Enneagram Type 9 in one go. It requires perpetual disdain or disregard. One of the cool (and sometimes annoying) of Type 9’s is the ability to give the benefit of the doubt. No one can excuse the behavior of others for the sake of peace like an Enneagram Type 9. However, when the disregard becomes habitual don’t be surprised when a Type 9 explodes.
No one is better at disregarding others than Enneagram Type 5’s. Our drive for knowledgeable independence makes us oblivious to how our actions affect other people most of the time. Our disregard for the Type 9 doesn’t just cause initial or even lasting pain. It causes subversive pain. It teaches the Type 9 that they don’t matter. An explosion is actually the preferred and justifiable response. What is insidious is that the idea that they must bend to your will is inexcusable. For the independent Type 5, our will is usually that the Type 9 barely exist. Harsh, right?
That is the real pain we Type 5’s need to watch out for this tendency with everyone, but especially so with our Type 9 neighbors. That is a pain deeper than most of us realize. A pain that steals humanity.A pain that steals humanity. Click To Tweet